...i wrestle

a long long time ago I sat in corners before the time I became an i...no words no lights breath taken lightly so as not not to make a mark. i sat in silence gazing thinking as if entombed in wonder as to how so surrounded in isolation i had become. marine passed then but nothing else all yet to comes hid just beyond a horizon whose existence never occured to me. seems now i have returned to that corner where ties that bind are all now loosening one by one.

ive sought refuge in the sea... in drink... in women, in men, in marriage and, now...now...ive returned to isolation. to silence. to considerations noted only by myself examined as one might a tree within the forest.

knowing believing that there is a reason i continue chipping digging wrestling with myself ever thinking of the light the door the key that lays somewhere...must be. there. must be.

i cry now. tears unbidden. for no reason. reasons. this. a saddness wraps me tenderly. so lost...just as the wolf of dreams.

...why for?  ...i am the wolf

grasshoppers gate