all quietly wrapped am I in what i dreamed once was i felt i wanted. but. but... full well see i that things are never what one thinks/expects/and dreams them not how the boulder rolls dice tumbles on into a happenstance. so, lashing about am i in silence dark sky ceilinged surrounded by the green of spring...ah, what to do...what shall i do? WHAT SHALL i DO?

yes. lashing about am i in wonderings whether anything warrants fabrications necessary to create a charade a something shell-like cause there is no faith and all must be borne on my shoulders none else to take the weight...

for where the salt and water washed once serving to insulate protecting moat like surrounding me in distance there is no more of that as i have broken free(?) to drift in other waters other lands alone with fewer fellows...

yet...yet, always this the thought surrounds me that id asked for this and now its come...yes...always asked did i and just as pact like one day the devil seeks his due so have i to this been borne... should this one complain.